It was two years ago this week I had one of those moments in life that will forever be engraved in my mind as one of my life's greatest treasures. A gift from God. It was simple and powerful and overwhelming beautiful. It was God speaking directly to my heart in a way I wish everyone experiences at least once in their life. It was not flashy. I did not hear his voice but I knew instantly it was Him.
I was sitting with a few girlfriends sharing that R and I were praying and deciding about adopting from either the Democratic Republic of Congo or domestically. As the word Congo came out of my mouth I knew God spoke right to my heart and told me unquestionably that Congo is where we were to adopt. I didn't tell my friends. I didn't tell R. I let it soak in and a few days later R said he thought we should adopt from Congo. God met us both and now it was time to find our little one.
At the time, we were expecting the process to take 9-18 months at the absolute most. We prayed that we would find a place to adopt that had a short time line and here it was right in front of us...or so we thought.
Two years later, I have never in my life been more thankful for God to say no to our prayer and instead take us on a path I thought I didn't want. I have never been more thankful for God protecting us from the truth that we would later be faced with so that we would more easily say yes when he said Congo.
I can confidently assume that had we known that two years later we'd be sitting here with an indefinite adoption timeline that R and I would've run for the hills to adopt elsewhere. I am so so thankful that we didn't know.
Be still before The Lord and wait patiently for Him. Psalm 37:7
Last Thursday we were given some incredibly encouraging news about our paperwork. It felt blissful and surel. Within 48 hours the U.S. posted a statement reconfirming the Congelese government will not allow any children to leave DRC until the laws are changed. They went on to state more of what we already know but the reality of seeing it in writing AGAIN was crushing.
In this time of grief we wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust his holy name (Psalm 33:20-21).
He has encouraged me countlessly through this process. This week he has reminded me of two things.
1. The girls and I have been talking a lot about what it means in the Bible and in our lives when God is our strength in our weakness. It's as true for them as it is for R and I. We are so weak emotionally but God continues to be a constant strength to keep us trucking.
2. As I prayed yesterday for U to come home and that I didn't know how to keep doing this waiting game He immedielty reminded me of a similar thing I said to him over two years ago with A. I was at the point where I couldn't take her anywhere anymore and I cried to God for help and told him I don't know how to do anything or go anywhere with A (she was undiagnosed and at the time it was near impossible to take her anywhere in public). Two and half years later and she is thriving in ways that I never dreamt she would. The thought of putting her in a camp last summer was something I never would've entertained and this week she is in camp and doing amazing well. To have A function so easily in social settings is a miracle.
Perspective is a beautiful thing.
I don't believe God wants U to be away from his family but I do believe that in all things God works for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28). He has and will make good things come from this wait.
Tu nous manques U! (We miss you U!)
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