Waiting

We found out last week that we are #3 on the waiting list to find out who are little Congolese baby is!! When I first read the email I got a HUGE burst of excited energy. It shouldn't be all that much longer before we get THE call! I can't wait to see the face of the child I love and miss so desperately. To know your child is out there and not know anything about him or her other than your love for this child is a strange thing to wrap my brain and heart around. I miss our baby more than anything on earth could express.

And then, then my thoughts drift.

 The birth mother.

I think about her almost as often as our Congolese child. I think about how one of the greatest days of our lives could be one of the worst times of her life. I obviously don't know her circumstances and we may never know. If she is alive, she is quit possibly about to do one of the hardest, selfless acts a human can do. I pray for her. I mourn her loss. I love her and whatever her story may be she will forever be apart of our family.

This is the part of adoption that I despise. Its the unfair part.

Poverty. Disease. Adoption for these reasons shouldn't have to exist. It's not the way God intended families to be.

I'm so abundantly thankful that God has this as our story. I know this child will fill our home and hearts with as much love as my girls sleeping upstairs. WE are the blessed ones in this story.

I'm floored by the goodness and mercy of our God. I'm reminded that He knows every hair on our heads, every detail of our lives and loves us. I am thankful that despite not understanding all the details of this world we have a God that can and does give peace that surpasses all understanding to all families.

 I think it's okay to let my thoughts drift. They drift to our baby. They drift to his or her birth mom. They drift to the promises of God...and that is exactly where my heart needs to be.

But Mommy, Mr. Tomlin told me

My conversation with A while driving in the car:

A: Mommy, Mr. Tomlin said that God doesn't like me. 

Not sure what she was talking about I asked her to repeat it. 

A: Mommy, Mr. Tomlin said that God doesn't like me. 

Me: OOOOOhhhhh you mean Chris Tomlin the guy who sings Our God (her favorite song).   

BTW, how cute is that she calls him Mr. Tomlin instead of Chris?!  Cutie!

A: Yes.

Me:  A, Chris Tomlin doesn't say that God doesn't like you he says, "there's no one like you (God), none like you!"  God loves you A.

A: Oh, and Blankie too?

Me:  Yes, A, and Blankie too. :)

Santa and Gifts

The other day at OT I overheard a conversation between A and her OT. It went something like this:

OT: Did Santa come to your house on Christmas?
A: No, Santa didn't come to my house.
OT: Didn't Santa bring you presents?
A: No.
OT: Oh, did you get any presents?
A: Yes, mommy and daddy gave them to me.
OT: What did you get?
A: I already told you. They gave me presents. :)

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

I love family Christmas traditions!!  Christmas Eve A and I made Jesus a blueberry Birthday cake (she decided that is the flavor Jesus would want this year) and the four of us sang Happy Birthday to Him and enjoyed a candlelight service at Church and a drive around the city looking at Christmas lights. 

We didn't take too many pictures this year at Christmas but here are a few snapshots of the day.

My sweet nephew B getting a snuggle from his biggest fan, M.

M in A's new zebra hat from Nana and Papa.

A made this gift for R and I at preschool.  She made wrapping paper and her teachers wrapped it at school for us to open Christmas morning.  Nothing warms the heart like a handmade gift from your 3 yr old!

It's hard to see in this picture but the girls are opening their stockings.  A opened up her cupcake ornament and M opened a box of Sesame Street band-aids. After that M had no interest in anything else.  She finally opened her gift under the tree about an hour later after much persistence from her parents.

R opening up a gift from M & A....a cup with pictures of them on it.