For Mother's Day, A's preschool teacher asked her about me. Here are her answers.... :)
Monday, May 12, 2014
Monday, May 5, 2014
M's Dreaming of U
I went into M and A's bedroom to get M up from her nap. As soon as I walked in she asked when U is coming home. Such joy and pain that question brings. She told me she dreamt that the two of them were playing trains together.
M then spent the remainder of the afternoon playing with her train set. I can't wait until all three of my littles can play trains (or anything!) together.
M then spent the remainder of the afternoon playing with her train set. I can't wait until all three of my littles can play trains (or anything!) together.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Be Still My Heart
I heard U's voice.
Well, it's more like a grunt but I heard it. We have a 17 second video of him kicking a blue balloon like a soccer ball and when he picks up the balloon he makes, what is mostly definitely, the single cutest little grunt that this mama has ever heard. It feels like heaven falls down to earth ever time I hear it. Cheesy but true. Every time. I've watched that video more times than I can count (Ask R, I watch it over and over again...kinda like how the girls listen to the Frozen soundtrack) but every single time I hear him I can't help but laugh with sheer childlike joy.
It is said that having a child is like watching your heart walk around outside of your body. It is one of the single greatest blessings of my life to be able to watch Mr. U walk around with my heart in tow...even if just in a video.
I know it's not his first steps that I'm watching but it feels like it is. I know it's not the first noise he's ever made but it feels like it is. I wish I could post the video on this blog. One day prayerfully not too far off from now I'll be able to.
Along with the video we also received a lot of information about where he is now living, the wonderful foster family that is caring for him and little details about U's personality.
He is an extremely social boy, very happy and outgoing. He smiles a lot and likes to be around people. He also enjoys playing with the older kids next door. He is short for his age, eats a lot and "his smile and laughter are adorable."
The father of his foster mom is a retired pastor and said that he thinks of the 3 foster children like his grandchildren. He was very happy to hear that U is going to live with a Christian family that will raise him in the church. I love that that is what his main concern was. My prayer for some time now has been that if U wasn't going to be with us that he would be with people who would show him the love of Jesus as much or more than we would do for him. It seems this family is that prayer answered.
All of the information we received is thanks to an adoptive mom of one of the other foster children in this home. She had the honor and privledge to meet her child and the foster family for two days last month. She said, "while the physical conditions are not perfect, I could not imagine a more kind and loving family. It is evident that they treat the kids very, very well. I feel like the physical things can be overcome, but the spiritual and emotional effect of nurturing is longer lasting."
Lord, Bring healing and wisdom to the Congolese government. Protect their children. Open the doors to allow U here with us. Amen
If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. - James 1:5 (The Message).
Well, it's more like a grunt but I heard it. We have a 17 second video of him kicking a blue balloon like a soccer ball and when he picks up the balloon he makes, what is mostly definitely, the single cutest little grunt that this mama has ever heard. It feels like heaven falls down to earth ever time I hear it. Cheesy but true. Every time. I've watched that video more times than I can count (Ask R, I watch it over and over again...kinda like how the girls listen to the Frozen soundtrack) but every single time I hear him I can't help but laugh with sheer childlike joy.
It is said that having a child is like watching your heart walk around outside of your body. It is one of the single greatest blessings of my life to be able to watch Mr. U walk around with my heart in tow...even if just in a video.
I know it's not his first steps that I'm watching but it feels like it is. I know it's not the first noise he's ever made but it feels like it is. I wish I could post the video on this blog. One day prayerfully not too far off from now I'll be able to.
Along with the video we also received a lot of information about where he is now living, the wonderful foster family that is caring for him and little details about U's personality.
He is an extremely social boy, very happy and outgoing. He smiles a lot and likes to be around people. He also enjoys playing with the older kids next door. He is short for his age, eats a lot and "his smile and laughter are adorable."
The father of his foster mom is a retired pastor and said that he thinks of the 3 foster children like his grandchildren. He was very happy to hear that U is going to live with a Christian family that will raise him in the church. I love that that is what his main concern was. My prayer for some time now has been that if U wasn't going to be with us that he would be with people who would show him the love of Jesus as much or more than we would do for him. It seems this family is that prayer answered.
All of the information we received is thanks to an adoptive mom of one of the other foster children in this home. She had the honor and privledge to meet her child and the foster family for two days last month. She said, "while the physical conditions are not perfect, I could not imagine a more kind and loving family. It is evident that they treat the kids very, very well. I feel like the physical things can be overcome, but the spiritual and emotional effect of nurturing is longer lasting."
Lord, Bring healing and wisdom to the Congolese government. Protect their children. Open the doors to allow U here with us. Amen
If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. - James 1:5 (The Message).
Monday, April 21, 2014
Happy Resurrection Sunday!
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die." John 11:25-26
This year we had fun with cousin K, cousin L, Nana and Papa!
Saturday, March 22, 2014
One Year Without U
I noted March 22, 2013 in my calendar last year as a way to remember, reminisce and celebrate the first time R and I saw a picture of our precious little boy. The day we found out we were going to have a son! It was (and still is!) literally the best phone call I have ever received. I suppose it's the equivalent of finding out I was pregnant with the girls and finding out they were girls and seeing their little faces for the first time all rolled up into one amazing phone call. The emotions were intense and exhilarating. And oh how the mishmash of emotions have maintained there intensity throughout this year.
I could never have imagined a year ago today that little Mr. U would not be sitting in my arms today. As a fellow waiting mom put it, there's no real explaining what it feels like to have your son halfway across the world.
There has not been one moment of my life in the past year that U is not in the front of my mind. Not one moment. In a way it has given me a fraction of understanding into how God can always and forever have me on His mind no matter how many other things the world has going on that He's involved in. Gods longing for me is so intense how could he not be thinking of me? That's how I feel about my boy. The tears are only a blink away from spilling out and the joy that he brings to my heart is as real as his little smile.
Last September (2013) the Congolese government stopped issuing exit letters for orphans to leave the country with their adoptive families for up to one year (September 2014). They started investigating different cases to ensure the safety of each child. The reason behind the hold is beautiful. The reality for the children who would be leaving to live with amazing, loving and safe families is crushing. Yesterday we were made aware that the hold on issuing exit letters is expected to last more than the original 12 month time frame.
The pain of that news runs deep. It's a reminder that nothing in this process is certain. The only thing I can do is hope in the only One I can. Hope and pray.
The girls and I were listening to a CD in the car yesterday. M asked me what the words were.
I am not forgotten I am not forgotten I am not forgotten God knows my name (x2)
He knows my name
I am not forgotten I am not forgotten I am not forgotten God knows my name (x2)
He knows my name
He knows my name
Verse: Light over darkness strength over weakness joy over sadness he knows my name father to the fatherless friend to the friendless hope for the hopeless he knows my name
That was just minutes after I had received the news of the unknown lift on this wait. We hadn't listened to that CD in well over a year and the one day that the girls ask to listen to it is the one day that I needed to be reminded of those words. U is not forgotten.
God has blessed me with so many of these sweet sweet moments with Him through this wait. I have felt God hold me as I pray He holds U. He has given me friends to cry with and get giddy with. He doesn't have to give me anything. He alone is enough but yet He pours out more on me, on U and on my family.
He continues to remind me of His promises.
If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
If you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath.
Psalm 34:18 - The Message
I was reading Matthew 7:7-8 this morning. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
In the commentary at the bottom of my Bible it notes that in the words "ask"..."seek"...."knock" it is a Greek present imperatives that is being used in those words and therefore indicates constant asking, constant seeking and constant knocking. It also states, "Persistent prayer is being emphasized."
In a week that has been especially emotional with the ups and downs of this adoption journey it is a great reminder to keep on asking, seeking and knocking for our little guy to be healthy, safe, lovely cared for and in our arms soon.
Your love, Oh LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Psalms 36:5
I could never have imagined a year ago today that little Mr. U would not be sitting in my arms today. As a fellow waiting mom put it, there's no real explaining what it feels like to have your son halfway across the world.
There has not been one moment of my life in the past year that U is not in the front of my mind. Not one moment. In a way it has given me a fraction of understanding into how God can always and forever have me on His mind no matter how many other things the world has going on that He's involved in. Gods longing for me is so intense how could he not be thinking of me? That's how I feel about my boy. The tears are only a blink away from spilling out and the joy that he brings to my heart is as real as his little smile.
Last September (2013) the Congolese government stopped issuing exit letters for orphans to leave the country with their adoptive families for up to one year (September 2014). They started investigating different cases to ensure the safety of each child. The reason behind the hold is beautiful. The reality for the children who would be leaving to live with amazing, loving and safe families is crushing. Yesterday we were made aware that the hold on issuing exit letters is expected to last more than the original 12 month time frame.
The pain of that news runs deep. It's a reminder that nothing in this process is certain. The only thing I can do is hope in the only One I can. Hope and pray.
The girls and I were listening to a CD in the car yesterday. M asked me what the words were.
I am not forgotten I am not forgotten I am not forgotten God knows my name (x2)
He knows my name
I am not forgotten I am not forgotten I am not forgotten God knows my name (x2)
He knows my name
He knows my name
Verse: Light over darkness strength over weakness joy over sadness he knows my name father to the fatherless friend to the friendless hope for the hopeless he knows my name
That was just minutes after I had received the news of the unknown lift on this wait. We hadn't listened to that CD in well over a year and the one day that the girls ask to listen to it is the one day that I needed to be reminded of those words. U is not forgotten.
God has blessed me with so many of these sweet sweet moments with Him through this wait. I have felt God hold me as I pray He holds U. He has given me friends to cry with and get giddy with. He doesn't have to give me anything. He alone is enough but yet He pours out more on me, on U and on my family.
He continues to remind me of His promises.
If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
If you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath.
Psalm 34:18 - The Message
I was reading Matthew 7:7-8 this morning. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
In the commentary at the bottom of my Bible it notes that in the words "ask"..."seek"...."knock" it is a Greek present imperatives that is being used in those words and therefore indicates constant asking, constant seeking and constant knocking. It also states, "Persistent prayer is being emphasized."
In a week that has been especially emotional with the ups and downs of this adoption journey it is a great reminder to keep on asking, seeking and knocking for our little guy to be healthy, safe, lovely cared for and in our arms soon.
Your love, Oh LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Psalms 36:5
Monday, March 10, 2014
Cars and Rice
There are many things in life that I knowingly take for granted. Food, clean water, healthy relationships, heat, cars, savings in the bank, electricity, ect, ect.
Then there are things that I never knew I took for granted.
Knowing A loves making crafts and coloring. Knowing M loves dressing up and singing. Knowing my girls favorite colors. Foods they love. Foods that causes there noses to wrinkle as they eat. Knowing what makes them laugh the hardest and what makes their little hearts ache.
I never knew that I took that knowledge for granted. It was only when week after week, month after month I didn't have that knowledge about my son that I became incredibly aware of the gift of knowledge that I do have and the ache that lack of knowledge can bring.
In the past year we have learned about U's past and when he learned to walk. For a year that is all we have known. There is not a day that goes by that I don't wonder everything there is for a mother to long to know about her child. This past week that longing was met with some answers. Thank you Jesus!! Happy tears and a family dance party followed the news!
U loves to play with cars. He loves rice. He loves to eat and eat and eat. He cries a lot and smiles a lot. He sleeps wonderfully through the night. He is described as boisterous and smily.
Dreaming and praying for the day we can play cars together and have a big bowl of rice at our kitchen table with all five of us!
Then there are things that I never knew I took for granted.
Knowing A loves making crafts and coloring. Knowing M loves dressing up and singing. Knowing my girls favorite colors. Foods they love. Foods that causes there noses to wrinkle as they eat. Knowing what makes them laugh the hardest and what makes their little hearts ache.
I never knew that I took that knowledge for granted. It was only when week after week, month after month I didn't have that knowledge about my son that I became incredibly aware of the gift of knowledge that I do have and the ache that lack of knowledge can bring.
In the past year we have learned about U's past and when he learned to walk. For a year that is all we have known. There is not a day that goes by that I don't wonder everything there is for a mother to long to know about her child. This past week that longing was met with some answers. Thank you Jesus!! Happy tears and a family dance party followed the news!
U loves to play with cars. He loves rice. He loves to eat and eat and eat. He cries a lot and smiles a lot. He sleeps wonderfully through the night. He is described as boisterous and smily.
Dreaming and praying for the day we can play cars together and have a big bowl of rice at our kitchen table with all five of us!
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
A Caring Heart
The girls and I took a trip to a kids craft place during A's February break from school. She picked out a heart jewelry box to paint and decorate and excitedly brought it home.
After we had been home for a while she asked me what she could put inside it. I suggested jewelry or a small toy. She said no to both of them. I saw her examining it and thinking it through and a few moments later she came up with a plan.
A: I'm going to fill it full of coins.
Me: Oh yeah, okay.
A: What can I do with the coins once it's full?
Me: We could go to the toy store and you could pick out a toy.
A: No, I'm not going to do that. Once it's full of lots of coins I'm going to get food and give it to people that don't have food.
I held back tears and of course praised her for such a thoughtful and caring idea to give up a toy and give to others. Such a beautiful heart that girl has!!
Her wheels didn't stop there. The next day she asked for some envelopes and how to spell Congo. She proceeded to put a coin in each envelope, write Congo on each of them with a drawn in heart stamp on the top right hand corner of each envelope. She then asked if R and I could bring the coins to the kids in Congo that don't have food when we go pick up U.
We sometimes call A the heart girl because she's obsessed with hearts. She LOVES drawing hearts, wearing hearts, decorating with hearts, ect. She even wants a heart themed Birthday party. I think that nickname fits her just perfecting. The heart girl with a caring heart!
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