Our Abundant Life: To Myself Twenty Years From Now

While walking through the stores, standing in line to check-out, walking down the street, comments on the internet...I hear and see the same comments over and over again - enjoy this time while they are young, time goes by so fast, you'll blink and they'll be graduating college. And the one comment that hits a big stronger is one that goes something like this - Enjoy this time I wish I had.

I would imagine that most of those moms did enjoy their kids when they were little like mine are. Memory has a way of reminding us of what we did not do instead of what we did do. There are a lot of "open letters" floating around the internet these days and so today I'm adding my own. A note to myself as a reminder of what this summer was like for our family.

Dear Myself twenty years from now,

We had an amazing summer! The best summer of your adult life. Perhaps it was the knowledge that this was your last summer before A was off to full day Kindergarten. You wanted to soak up that time with her and you did. I think even more than that is the painful reality that you have one child across the world from you that you would give your left arm to be with. You realize the blessing and privilege it is to be physically with your children in a way that most in America (thankfully!) have not experienced. You relish the time you can be with your two girls. It is a gift. They are one of God's greatest joy and His strength the Bible promises in the midst of sorrow.

Let me start by saying, you were not perfect. You messed up. You lost your cool, you got impatient, you let your kid watch TV on a perfectly sunny summer day because, well, you wanted to gain some of your sanity back. You checked your email too much (the idea that you would get "the email" that you could pick U up was always in the front of your mind despite reality). But that's not what this letter is about. This is to remind you when you look back 20+ years from now you remember this summer. You'll remember the good stuff. Not the "I wish I had." I'm writing this to remind you that you did.

We had lemonade stands and met new neighbors. You tossed the bedtime to the side on some especially playful summer nights. We had lots of dance parties. We visited park after park after park on sunny days and pouring rain days...we were at the park. We ran around in the backyard. We played Frozen. Man did we play Frozen. We splashed in puddles. We had family races. We dug for bugs. We had picnics. We colored rocks. We had slumber parties on the floor in the girls room and in R and my room. We laid in the grass and watched the clouds go by.

Your patience grew. Your love for God grew. Your understanding of your girls and your husband grew. There was less raising of your voice and a whole lot more talking things through. We talked about Jesus more and on our own and as a family we grew closer to Him. You bonded with each girl individually and as a family. We learned a lot about each other.

We laughed a lot. A LOT. It was an awesome summer and, for the most part, you were at your best as a mom. It was God really. 100% God. Not you and you know that and relished His ability to do that for your family. He took the pain of waiting for your son and did something beautiful with it.

When it because clear that U was not coming home for a long time you asked God that He would place him with people that would draw him closer to God and that God would draw us closer to Him to be better equipped as parents. He had already answered the first part of that prayer in U's foster family. This summer I saw the fruits of the latter part of that prayer.

It was a beautiful summer. Praying next summer will be a celebration of the five of us together.